The erasure of bisexual men in Black community is extremely dangerous and the people who shame DL men perpetuate it. “There’s no such thing as a bisexual man. You ether straight or gay” rhetoric is untrue. There’s men out here attracted to men and women and having sex with both. The same people push this agenda that all women are bi. Again, not true. Gay men are GAY! They only have sex with men. Lesbians are only into women. So saying a man is gay who has sex with men and women is false. This also makes men who mess with both think of themselves as straight by default instead of bisexual. When you force people into black and white boxes it creates dishonesty.
Sure, relationships typically start with a honeymoon phase that then grows into something deeper but a bit more mellow if things work out, but it’s depressing as fuck that this has turned into a really, really common script for straight relationships that says it’s totally normal and inevitable for dudes to just become more and more emotionally checked out of the relationship, and leave it to their girlfriend/wife to perform if she wants to get even a crumb of affection from him. I’m so fucking tired of seeing women constantly being taught that decades of emotional neglect is just our lot in life.
what “getting out of the honeymoon phase” should mean: you aren’t joined at the hip anymore and can spend time apart, but you still greatly enjoy eachother’s company and deliberately make time to be together. you’re not just a unit, you’re a matched set (like, you’re susan and bob rather than susanandbob). you start to see eachother’s flaws and don’t put eachother on a pedestal but instead love eachother as human beings, flaws and all.
what it should NOT mean: you barely talk anymore. you feel like two completely different people, tied together by a frayed thread. you’re annoyed by eachother’s flaws and don’t like to be around eachother
similarly: “relationships are hard, they take a lot of work” means that cooperation on a daily basis in both the practical and emotional realms takes conscious effort. you can’t coast on those honeymoon feelings forever, and you aren’t psychic, so you have to pay attention and communicate so you can honor each other’s wants and needs.
it should not mean that you’re fighting every two days or walking on eggshells to avoid the anger of an unreasonable partner or breaking your back trying to get the slightest sign of affection or respect from someone who’s checked out and doesn’t care about you.
god making snails: alright now i need a lil goopman
god makin slugs: haha okay one more but this time naked
Capricorn
For you, affection is earned. You give it your all and u know giving affection opens you up to ur most vulnerable form.
